| untitled |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|01:40 am] |
Strangely,
mechanical;
like i have gears and spindles
in my heart
that churn to the drone
of a story-telling kind of love.
A time-telling kind of love.
it could only be this way--
A beautiful kind of robotic.
Faithful and consistent,
like the cosmic Om
that never ebbs,
nor stems towards chaos.
Tick-tocking
in-and-out,
out-and-in,
tock-ticking.
Sex with an orgasmless future.
The grind itself is the pleasure.
No bomb ever will explode.
I love you like clockwork.
---
i miss LJ.:) |
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| Dunce Hat Romeo |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|10:47 am] |
|
Possibly
how could I love you
that thoughts of you
would not be little murders
of myself,
that I do not have to weep
for the things that
supposedly encompass your greatness,
no matter how decadent,
no matter how hedonistic,
that I do not have to be
martyred by you?
How must I re-teach my heart
that it would not be shattered by
your misguided attempts at kindness,
that it could just love you
without contempt,
that it wouldn’t resent every moment
it speaks your name in
sinful reverie?
How must I regard you
that I do not clog your throat
with my feelings,
that I am not listless,
anxious that I might be pulling you down,
or lifting you too far up,
that the weight of my presence
is just right for you to bear?
I must execute this perfectly,
lest i lose you.
I must live in the skin of another
to survive this,
but i choose you.
The least you could do is be specific.  |
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| my heart re-engineered itself when i wasn't looking. |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|12:35 am] |
ACT II
Say, I break into this production for you,
the dance, the act;
if from the pit of the proscenium
i somersault onto the centre of the stage
where principles die
and your eyes burn my history
like a billion spotlights,
who do you really know?
What part of me will you understand?
This monkey will not beg for your penny;
not in that fashion he won't.
So keep your bloody roses. |
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| Biyudo |
[May. 28th, 2006|12:45 pm] |
Kailangan kitang iiyak.
Isang bagsakan na lang
para matapos na.
Iiwan na lang kita sa isang lugar
at di na babalikan.
Hindi na kita dadalhin pa
kung saan saan.
Mabigat na ang pasanin ko.
Mahirap lang,
dahil hindi ko alam kung paano.
Hindi kasi ako pinalaking malamya.
Nasira na lang ako ng kusa.
Tumumbang bigla nung iniwan mo ako.
Idadaan ba kita sa dasal?
Kaninong santo ba ako mangungumpisal?
Para kang libog na kailangan kong ilabas.
Gumigising akong hinahanap ka.
Hindi mo alam ang kalupitan mo.
Binigyan mo ako ng dahilan para umiyak,
hindi mo naman ako tinuruan kung paano.
Nabubuhay akong tahimik na nagluluksa para sa iyo.
Kailangan kitang iiyak. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2006|03:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jill Scott - The Fact Is | ] |
x-men 3 drove me nuts. good thing i watched it with my dad, who is always a veritable soundboard. others i wouldve spontaneously combusted from sheer excitement. i'm so revved up from watchin it i can't even write anything coherent about it. i'm just going to take random potshots.
* the scene by the lake, where jean asks cyclops to take off his ruby quartz shades. that killed me. its the most tender moment they ever shared in the comic. though in the comic, cyclops shows jean his eyes, and then jean transports herself to The White Hot room to restore the balance of energies between the Multiverses. i love how they took that one tiny little backstory and wrote it into the script. major booohoo moment.
eto yun o:
*jean slowly dismembering professor X molecule by molecule. ohmigahd! omega level mutancy! telekinesis at the molecular level! its enough to make any x-men geek pee in his pants. (but i didn't. im proud of myself for that)
*callisto and storm in battle. although i don't remember callisto bein so agile. and why the fuck couldn't they portray storm as the powerful weather bitch that she really is? in the comic,storm beat callisto's ass in hand to hand combat. without her powers. the scene in the grey residence where callisto was slapping halle berry around broke my heart.
*angel is hot,.
*who the hell is that asian chick with the purple highlights? is she supposed to be psylocke?
*kelsey grammer did a great job as Beast.
*is it just me, or is Sir Ian Mckellen getting campier? Nevertheles, he was fantastic in this movie. who else could've inserted such a plethora of mirth in potentially career-killing lines such as "ooooh,i like this one...", or in x2, "what are you going to do, scratch it with your claws?" i've loved him since Gods and Monsters. He could read Green Eggs and Ham to me and i'd still bawl over him.
*okay. it just has to be wolverine again. pffffft. that scene is in the comics too,though. but in the comics, he did it because he and jean where in a ship bound for the sun, and jean couldn't take the heat, so he had to kill her. oh, wait. spoiler alert? haha. sorry.
*i am now officially in love with Famke Janssen. Even in X2, she looked like she was the only one who actually researched about her character. i would've loved to see her with the phoenix manifestation though. brian singer included it in X2, and it looked amazing.
parang ganito o:
haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2006|02:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
damn that elliot. that boy wears his heart on his larynx. i've never been so sad seeing someone leave the show. i know squat about his issues, but man, you could hear history in his voice. and not in a cheesy the-hero-lies-in-you kinna way. you hear him sing and you know at some point in his life he was an asshole, a lover, a genius, a maniac, a loser, a bad son, a good son. his voice is not perfect. he cracks,he runs out of breath, his riffs are full of dead notes sometimes. he doesn't have taylor's audacity, katherine's good looks, chris' charisma. but if there is one thing that he can own up to from that gig - and i might sound like i'm taking this show too seriously - it is that he gave the show humanity. |
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| I'm all about em words Vol. 2 |
[May. 16th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sting - I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying | ] |
I'm happy for you. You've made it hard for me. I counted on your company. You were staying with your friends tonight. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I keep taking everything to be a sign...
I'm happy for you. Now i know this hurt is poison. Too sharp to be bled. I'm sitting on my empty bed. On my empty bed. At night the fever grows. its pounding. its pounding.
-I'm a Cuckoo, Belle and Sebastian. I found this song 2 days after my ex and i broke up. Aray ko. Yun lang, hehe.
I want to see your face in every kind of light. In fields of gold and forests of the night. and when you stand before the candles on a cake, oh let me be the one to hear the silent wish you make.
-What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life, Barbra Streisand. I'm currently on the prowl for a singer boyfriend. Then he could sing these lines to me. A bass singer in UP Madrigal named Enrico is a prime candidate. If anyone here knows him, pinch him in the butt for me.:p
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier. i know that the clubs are weapons of war. i know that diamonds mean money for this art, but that's not the shape of my heart.
-Shape of my Heart, Sting.
You could say i lost my faith in science and progress. You could say i lost my faith for the people on tv. You could say i lost my belief in the holy church. You could say all of these and worse. But if i ever lose my faith in you there ain't nothing left for me to do.
- If I Ever Lose My Faith, Sting.
Walked out this morning, can't believe what i saw. A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore. Seems i'm not alone in being alone. A hundred billion castaways looking for a home.... I'll send an SOS to the world . I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.
-Message in A Bottle, Sting.I grew up listening to Sting. I gotta say, if this music thing im on right now turns out to be a long-term set up, blame Sting. His songs started it all for me. Everything little thing he does is beautiful. Damn it what would i not give to come up with lyrics like that.
I have learned that beauty has to fluorish in the light. Wild horses run unnbridled or their spirit dies.
-Butterfly, Mariah. I do believe that this is just about as profound as Mariah could get. Any more attempts at it would be risking another nervous breakdown. And my gahd, she sang this song to pieces, didn't she? The runs, the hisses, the coluratura note; typical "o sige na,ikaw na" mariah style of singing.
You can depend on certainty. Count it out and weigh it up again. You can be sure you're reached the end and still you feel you don't know anything. Do you know you're beautiful? Yes you are.
-Beautiful, Mandalay. I sang along to this song for my bestfriend on her birthday. She got all teary eyed on me. For a song with such a soft arrangement and vocal delivery, it packs a lot of punch. listen to it long enough and it becomes your mantra.
I alone love you. I alone tempt you. I alone love you. Fear is not the end of this.
-I Alone, Live. I imagine myself singing this song in front of my ex boyfriend, whose backbone has the consistency of cat vomit. He'll probably tear out his wrist with his mouth by the time i hit the bridge, hehe.
In this tainted soul, in this weak young heart am i too much for you? Weak as i am, am i too much for you?
-Weak As I Am, Skunk Anansie. So i'm pining, ok? Who doesn't?
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| You see i'm all about em words.... Vol. 1 |
[May. 16th, 2006|12:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Donnie Hathaway - You Were Meant For Me | ] |
She keeps Moet and Chandon in her pretty cabinet. Let em eat cake she says, just like Marie Antoinette...
She's a killer queen gunpowder guillotine dynamite with a laser beam guarranteed to blow your mind.
-Killer Queen, by Queen. A song i used to sing for my ex-girlfriend. You know something fishy is going on when the guy invokes Freddie Mercury in the relationship.
Through a fractal on our breaking wall i see u my friend, and touch your face again. Miracles would happen as we trip. But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy.
-Crazy, Seal. Currently my favorite song in my band's lineup.
By your fair hand of design you met with the monster in your mind.
- You Did it Again, Kylie Minogue. I still can't get over Kylie having the guts to come up with Impossible Princess. And a duet with Nick Cave, asus. If only Britney had the same bravado.
I gotta find peace of mind... i gotta find peace of mind...
- I Gotta Find Peace of Mind, Lauryn Hill. Do u have her unplugged album? It's mind boggling. Half the time her self-indulgence grates upon the nerves, the other half you spend eating her wisdom with a spoon. I cry along with her when i listen to this song. Or, you know, at least i feel like it.
Who would've known that a boy like him would have entered me lightly restoring my blisses? Who would have known that a boy like him after sharing my core would stay going nowhere?
- Cocoon, Bjork.
I'm the tree that grows hearts, one for each that you take. Youre the intruder's hand. I'm the branch that you break.
- Bachelorrette, Bjork. Bjork spawned many "ano daw?" moments for me. I have a strange skill for understanding garbled enunciations in songs. I got it from listening to study cd's for a living. But this girl comes up with the such clever lyrics, you wouldn't belive em the first time you hear em. And i don't think a lot of people realize how beautiful her melodies really are, coz she buries it under synths and weird singing.
I'm all about you. I'm all about us. No baby you never have to question my love. And every night there's a new crowd, but its only you i'm singing about. there is only one these words are going up to. I'm all about you.
-I'm All About You, Aaron Carter. Corny, pero pag sayo kinanta to ta-tumbling ka din.
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| She ain't no Oprah, but... |
[May. 1st, 2006|08:37 pm] |
... you gotta give her credit for convincing India Arie to give her this song.
Just For Today
Just for today, I will not worry what tomorrow will bring.
I'm going to try something new.
Walk through this day like I got nothing to prove
Yeah yeah.
Although, I have the best intentions
Can't predict anyone's reactions
So I just do my best.
I put one foot in front of the other
And keep on moving forward
And let God do the rest.
I don't know what's going to happen that's alright with me
I open up my arms and embrace the mystery.
I don't know what's going to happen, that's alright with me.
I open up my arms and embrace the mystery.
Just for today I'm telling the truth like it's going outta style, yeah
I'm going to swallow my pride, and be who I am,
And I don't care who don't like it, yeah.
I feel the fear but I do it anyway
I won't let it stand in the way, I know what I must do. Yeah.
There's no guarantee that it'll be easy,
But I know it'll be fufilling and it's time for me to sure improve.
Yeah it's okay, not to know.
Exploration is how we grow
It's okay to not have the answer
Cause sometimes it's the question that matters.
I don't what's going to happen that's alright with me
I open up my arms and embrace the mystery.
I don't what's going to happen, that's alright with me.
I open up my arms and embrace the mystery.
---
its touchy, feely, and dabbles too dangerously on Mariah Carey's the-hero-lies-in-me territory.
But i've been listening to it so much, the other songs in my Ipod are starting to feel bad. |
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|
| ok. now i'm starting to hate him. |
[Apr. 27th, 2006|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of my dog scratching her ear. | ] |
Some time last year, i owned what i thought was a pretty nifty cover version of Love Moves in Mysterious Ways. Seriously. I tried to stick as closely to the emotions of the original as much as possible. Julia Fordham sounds like a frigid vampire in that song; like prior to the encounter with her quarry, she was devoid of all sorts romantic inclinations. Nina prettified it, commercialized it, and robbed it of the etheral quality that made the song work in the first place. And of course, everybody loved it. To cut to the chase, i had to take it out of the line up. It wasn't an obscure song anymore. My friggin Ethics professor knew every word of it. And everybody in the country associated it with mothereffing Nina. Had i continued singing it, people would've assumed that i was covering HER, not Julia Fordham. And a local artist who wants to build some sort of name for himself dares not cover the recent single another local artist (unless people clamor violently for it, in which case, ask the other singer in your band to do it, haha). He just doesn't. Its weird, i know. But its mostly out of respect. You wouldn't want to give the impression na "nilalagyan" mo yung ibang singer i.e. pinapataasan, kinukumpetensya, dinadaig.
think of it like this; you chance upon one heck of a great shirt in a tiny little store that you are pretty sure no one has ever heard of. You gloat feverishly about the idea that no one within a 1000 mile radius has this same shirt. You take it home, admire it some more, and adamantly give detailed washing, drying, and ironing instructions to your househelp. Hand wash only. Don't wring it. Don't iron on the print. Fold it, no hangers. Two days later while walking in Recto you see another person wearing the exact same shirt. Yeah, its like that. Its soooo burgis, yes, but nerve-wracking nonetheless.
I don't want to be a baby about it, but Elliot Yammin, if you're reading this, i love you. I would date you any day of this century. You are an infinitely better singer than i am. But please, spare this lowly unknown vocalist some slack. Stop doing songs from my line up, man. I know i don't have dibs on em, but by being the brilliant bastard of a singer that you are, you put immense pressure on me to come up with a version that is at par with yours. Not that having people think that i got the idea from watching you is not complicated enough.; you have no idea how hard it is to explain to people that ive known the song all my life, and that my career is not an annex of American Idol. Now, imma have to wait a few weeks or even months before i could sing A Song For You to a large crowd again. We all love Stevie Wonder, George Benson, and Donny Hathaway. But try not to monopolize em. Think about the little guys. |
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| Listenings. |
[Apr. 16th, 2006|02:40 am] |
It's customary for a singer to ask another singer, "ano listening mo?". its a way of exchanging trade secrets. next time somebody asks me question, imma give out the link to this LJ and save time. these artists helped shape the style -whatever the hell it is- that im into right now. oh, and i got the link from nincompoopey_me.
Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|12:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sting - Shape of my Heart | ] |
Four Jobs I've Had In My Life
1. singer
2. road manager
3. muic researcher
4. writer
Four Films I Can Watch Over And Over
1. The Addams Family Values
2. A Clockwork Orange
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4. RENT (i'm still dazed)
Four Places I Have Lived
1. Roxas City, Capiz
2. San Miguel Pasig
3. Bambang Pasig
4. Tayuman Manila
Four TV Programs I Love To Watch
1. The Simpsons
2. Justice League Unlimited
3. Adult Swim
4. Spongebob Squarepants
Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Roxas City
2. Zambales
3. Cebu
4. Dipolog (ang so-sosyal, haha:p)
Four Places I Would Have Visited, Had I Had The Money
1. Greece
2. Switzerland
3. Monacco
4. Tuscany
Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. friendster
2. gamezone
3. apple.com
4. deviantart
Four Of My Favorite Foods
1. ice cream
2. pizza
3. ricecrispies treats
4. my lola's laing.
Four Places I Would Rather Be
1. New York
2. the gym
3. in the studio, cutting my record
4. church (its a new thing m trying out, haha.) |
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| The Covenant |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|12:58 am] |
Bereft of your love, I sit here silently in the shadows. I am a mass of ridiculous backstories, unnecessary psychoses. I throw ashes over my shoulders like a coward. My arid mouth seeks the solace of your lips. There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me. I worship you, but you are my enemy.
And as sudden as the genius that struck Lucifer the moment he decided to become a supernova, you save me.
A dog barks outside and my heart quickens and enters a dream of you standing silently in front of my temple, breathing down the grates, thinking of the nicest sentence with which to woo me.
In a fraction of a second you attain Perfection; no past misgivings, no original sin, no dark phantom from your lonely past clouds the radiance of your countenance.
At this very moment, I tremble upon the presence the proverbial beloved.
Your love radiates through my walls and touches me in places only you know of, crevices in my soul that I have hidden well, away from the crooked fingers of those whose intentions are not as holy. But to you, I hold no closed portal. You smile and my life that sleeps like a fetus in the night unfolds into a valley, as would the Truth of a flower that sheds its delicate dress to bathe in the light of the morning. What fruit in my garden is not available to you? Point to it and it shall wither; its tree shall bow its head in contemplation of ways with which to win your favor.
Sigh, and my mountains will kneel and go back into the earth as defeated titans. One word and the stars will weep and plummet into the dark bowels of the ocean, crestfallen and distraught; they hold no candle to the light of your wisdom. You enter my world a Quiet Deity. Such is the depth of your benevolence. Your voice is too beautiful for these vile ears. And so you keep your opinions to yourself like an underestimated child, lest my universe is shattered in a million little pieces. The antithesis of the Big Bang. You hold the power to uncreate me.
You speak with your eyes. This world is beneath my true grandeur. And I believe you, for I have been taught as a child that a god can never lie. I forsake my abode naked and primal, thrust forth by the promise made by your gaze that there is a bigger, shinier Eden that awaits me.
Time spreads its legs in front of us and we enter; hand in hand, you and I, riding on each other’s breath, not allowing the demons behind us to push us forward. No, they will make us stumble. They will cut our feet from under us. Hereon I am your zephyr, you are mine. We have no back stories. We know no impurity. We are sinless, faultless, guiltless, clean. And with the slightest nod you tug on the strings of my heart and incite me to fly. I’ve never known the vastness my wings could span. We leave the earth The Perfect Vagabonds . Perfect in virtue. Perfect as vagabonds.
Where and how you found me is a chapter forgotten. Where and how you lost me tugs on every nerve on my body, yes even now, that I ride on the clouds with you. My dream trembles within the mouth of a stray dog that sits vexingly on the concrete pavement outside my house. We are one listless cat away from oblivion; one strange shuffle of strange shoes too near the end of our journey. And you still have yet to re-teach Genesis for me. Oh what grace must I disown to reclaim everything that we have thrown away with our careless hands. How many temples must I build to revive the belief that there is still hope for you and me. Harken to me, my Quiet Deity. Do not gnaw at my fortitude with your silence.
Past the angels of Boticelli, two rights and a left from the customary gates of pearl you look at me with the eyes of a morning star. There is more beauty for me than this, you say. I can be bigger than this, you say. And I believe you, for I have been taught as a child that a god can never rest on what he has. And your hands that once spent eons and lightyears within mine transform into talons of silver and gold. Your eyes that once held infinity turn into orbs of blood and shadow. Still beautiful. You have always been beautiful.
A dog barks outside. Bereft of your love, I lurk in the darkest corners of humanity. I tease you. I test you. I pester you with my omniscient ways. But you will never know the Truth of me. Your skin will never know the caress of my merciful light.
Hereon, Man will live and die upon our eternal covenant. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|02:49 am] |
hey guys add my new lj site, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) difficultmeat. pure poetry. don't expect anything brilliant, though. i write poems precisely because i'm stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|03:41 pm] |
You are Jason!
You scored 75% jologs factor, 40% conservatism, 59% humor, and 79% pakikisama! |
The funny funny Jason! People love you because you are funny and you
just resemble the ideal Filipino father. However, your jokes offend
some of your housemates so you just have to learn where your boundaries
are. But don't worry, people just love you whatever your housemates
say. |  |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 99% on jologs factor | | You scored higher than 0% on conservatism | | You scored higher than 99% on humor | | You scored higher than 99% on pakikisama |
|
i don't really watch Big Brother. I just think it's cool that i scored less than zero on conservatism. |
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| hehe. it goes with my new userpic. |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|04:02 am] |
| [ | music |
| | sting - fields of gold | ] |
From witches who could change into cats with magic
spells, to tribes of anthropomorphic tigers
living in the jungles of Malaysia, to
bloodthirsty werecats of Japan who would prey
on humans for sustenance, tales of werecats
rival their more well-known werewolf cousins in
number.
As a werecat, you are aggressive, fiercely
independant, short-tempered and prone to
violent outbursts. You can also be very kind
though, by protecting those you care for from
those who wish to do them harm. Those who
befriend you are very lucky (as long as they
stay on your good side!)
Who is your inner Shapeshifter?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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